It was one of the most beautiful days of my life!
April 4th, 2015 was a breezy, but sunny Saturday morning. And on this day, I said "I do" to my high school crush. My wedding was the beginning of a beautiful marriage or so I thought.
Two months into our marriage, our honey moon had ended. Yeah, you read that right; two months in! Ya'Seen and I dealt with expectations, lack of communication, blended family issues, sex and intimacy, finances, just to name a few.
This is not how I envisioned my marriage to be with the person that I called my best friend. We struggled and there were months where all you felt in our home was tension. We made it over little humps and had small victories. But every time we turned around, there was another obstacle facing us head on.
I never wanted to give up on my marriage. Divorce was never supposed to be an option for me, however, I can't say that I was never tempted. I can't say Ya'Seen wasn't tempted either. I tried to fix things in my own strength. I tried to take control of certain situations, hoping that if I took the lead, then things would be better. However, me being the lead was never God's plan for marriage in the first place; it was never going to work no matter how hard I tried.
I fought with God for months about my marriage and every single time, He would say the same thing, "Give it to me and focus on you." Whoo, sis! Focus on myself?! After all the stuff that we're going through?! Looking back, I wasn't perfect either and God knew it. Not focusing on myself and not focusing on what my husband was doing or wasn't doing was the hardest and best thing that I could have done in my marriage.
After many fights with myself, my husband, and God, I finally decided to give my marriage over to God and focus on my role as a wife. My daily prayer began to be, "What kind of wife do I need to be today?" I began to really dissect the Proverbs 31 woman and really get instruction on my position as Ya'Seen's wife from God.
I strived everyday to be my husband's crown. I stopped nagging him and began to show love and most importantly, grace. And you know what happened? I bet you can guess! God began to work on my husband. Ya'Seen began to change. I didn't even have to say anything to him and it would just happen. Our communication began to get better. Our sex lives and financial stability improved. And it wasn't because of me, but God! God did it! My marriage wouldn't have survived if I had continued to be stubborn and hadn't surrendered my marriage and my own fleshly desires to God.
It’s Time to Win!
I want you to win as a wife! I want you to be the best wife that your husband will ever have! And this comes by being intentional in your actions and your words, and focusing on the wife that God has purposed you to be. Statistics say that 50% of marriages fail. Your marriage doesn't have to fail! It can be successful and prosperous! And that's exactly what I want for you! I look forward to hearing from you and the amazing transformation that will take place in you and your marriage!