“The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, and the pride of life.”
With all of these video vixens and Instagram models, how could I compete?
How could I know for sure that I was absolutely what he wanted when there were skinnier, prettier, and younger women out there that he could have?
Over the years, I have learned that overall, a man’s love is pretty constant.
Unless, he is just blatantly cheating on you, his love won’t waiver.
Men don’t need constant reminders that their women love them.
Women on the other hand, love to hear “I love you.”
I know I do.
I would get on Ya’Seen’s last nerve because I would just about every day ask him if he loved me.
His answer would often be, “Ask your ring finger.”
He would get so frustrated with me because I would ask him so many times.
He would then proceed to ask me if I believed that he loves me.
My answer would always be yes, but I just liked to hear it.
This continued to happen in our marriage, mainly because we weren’t speaking each other’s love language.
That’s a whole other story.
Another thing that I have learned over the years is that men have blurred vision when it comes to our physical bodies.
It’s like they have this magical filter on their eyes that allows them not to see the extra roll or double chin.
That lingerie that you think shows all of your flaws still turns him on every single time.
As Ya’Seen and I learned to speak each other’s love languages, I stopped asking him everyday and just did a once in a while check in.
It was time for a check in.
I asked him to name the top three reasons why he loved me physically and personality wise when we first got married and also the top three reasons why he loves me now with the same categories.
Are you ready for his list?
Here it goes.
2015 Physical Ariel 2019 Physical Ariel
1. My eyes 1. My back rolls
2. My legs 2. My feet
3. My body shape 3. My smile
2015 Personality Ariel 2019 Personality Ariel
1. Humor 1. The way I think
2. Loving 2. The way I love
3. Caring 3. Silly
Lets get into the comparison of these lists.
Lets start with the physical.
Ya’Seen has always told me that he loved my eyes and my stallion legs lol.
And number 3 is not much of a surprise because I tried to do my best to look as spectacular as I could for my wedding.
One of his favorite pictures to post is this one.
Can you guess why?
Anywhoo, his favorite current attributes are my rolls, surprisingly.
I have always struggled with my weight.
My goal has always been to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight when I was in college.
But it has been a struggle.
Surprisingly enough, Ya’Seen doesn’t want me to lose all of that weight.
He loves me with the body that I have now and whichever one I decide to have in the future.
In addition, lately in bed, whenever Ya’Seen and I rearrange our positions in the middle of the night, he’ll randomly just lick me.
He’ll lick my back, my shoulder, whatever.
Not too long ago, he rubbed my back and shoulder and then he squeezed my back roll!
He squeezed it!
He gave my back roll a love squeeze.
It was like the best feeling in the world.
My baby loves my rolls!
There’s no need for me to be ashamed of them.
If he likes it, I love it.
So lets get into the personality list.
Ya’Seen has always liked me lol they love us, but do they like us?
That’s the real question.
The 2015 list was pretty good, but basic.
What I love about his second list is that it shows my metamorphosis as a woman and wife.
Ya’Seen has always been my best friend; we have tons of fun with each other.
But tbh, the highlight of our marriage is slapboxing.
We love to play fight.
It keeps things not so serious and it’s always nice to have those little breaks in the day just to be silly.
On top of our friendship growing, Ya’Seen has pushed the barriers in the way I think and love towards him.
He has truly molded me into the wife that I am today.
He has pushed me to think how I can help him better, how I can assist him to make himself better.
What is it that I can do to push him into his destiny?
I’m always thinking and planning.
In addition, he has pushed me to pray for him, love him harder, to forgive, to be selfless, etc.
All the type of attributes that you need in order to be in a healthy marriage.
So what do I do with this list?
By checking in on what he likes, I can continue to be the girl he likes.
I continue to evolve into the woman and wife that God has called me to be for my husband without Ya’Seen even asking.
It’s amazing how I didn’t change because Ya’Seen wanted me to change.
I naturally evolved based on the needs of my marriage.
I can’t continue to be 2015 Ariel, that’s not who Ya’Seen likes anymore or necessarily wants or needs, and that’s okay.
Continue to check in with your man periodically on your performance as his woman, make necessary adjustments, and be the girl he likes by following the lead of God.