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How To Manage Pain of Abusive Relationships

How many times have you said, "I didn't have a choice?" This is a phrase that is uttered by many to justify their behavior or complain about their life circumstances. Surely, we can continue to believe there are no choices, but it is my belief that kind of thinking is what greatly contributes to our frustration and limits the strength and amount of personal power we experience.

Whenever you are in a situation where you believe there is "no choice", remember that there are always at least three choices.

Every situation has at least these three possible solutions: you can leave it, change it, or accept it.

Each option will look different in every situation.

Let's examine the options of a woman in an abusive relationship.

I am concerned that women in abusive relationships have no safe place to seek help or to talk about their issues.

There is an embarrassment about sharing what is happening in their lives.

An abuser will convince his victim that she is in some way to blame for his abuse.

This, often, will cause a person in an abusive relationship to suffer in silence.

I, in no way, mean to imply that there are no men living in abusive relationships.

This can create a seriously demoralizing situation for a man.

How does a man explain to his friends that his wife or girlfriend beats him up or is constantly verbally and emotionally abusive?

I believe there are many more men in such relationships than we think.

Because they carry a special stigma if they admit what is happening in their lives, most stay silent.

However, for the purpose of this article, I am writing as if the perpetrator is a male and th