I Think I Married the Wrong Person

Updated: Jun 30, 2020

Relationships require grace.


Grace means that you’re still going to do what you should do in your relationship, regardless if your significant others deserves it or not.


Sometimes in our relationships we will feel like our husbands don’t deserve to have us cook their meals, or speak to them in a respectful manner, or even have sex with them.


Hello!

I remember being in this very predicament.


I had come to the conclusion that I had married the wrong person.


I didn’t understand what was going on in my marriage.


I hardly knew the person that my husband had become.


He wasn’t the man I married.


I began to try to find guidance on my situation and I came across the story of Abigail and Nabal.


In 1 Samuel 25, it describes Nabal as a rich man, however, he was a fool.


He did what he wanted when he wanted and said whatever came to his mind.


No filter.


He was kind of a bad boy.


And in a way, Nabal was the kind of man that I used to be attracted to when I was in my early twenties.


I was attracted to bad boys: they had money, but they treated me horribly.


This was the kind of man that Nabal was.


Now Abigail, was the total opposite of Nabal.


She was beautiful and sensible, which means she had common sense, something that Nabal never possessed.


As we continue to read in chapter 25, we learn that Nabal and David had an incident between each other.


Now knowing what type of man Nabal was, we know that this wasn’t good.


He totally disrespected David, and David wanted to retaliate.


But it was Abigail who handled the situation.


So what did I learn from Abigail regarding my marriage and my husband?


I must be sensible.


I must continue to have common sense.


This means that I can’t be sensitive all of the time.


Scripture also says that love is not overly sensitive.


Growing up, I was a very sensitive child.


I would cry over almost everything.


But as I matured, marriage will do that, I realized that I couldn’t take everything to heart, especially if my husband needs to speak to me about a sensitive topic.


In addition, when something happens or my husband does something that I don’t like or disagree with, I cant operate in my emotions.


I have to look at the situation with common sense, and not my hurt feelings.


Another nugget that I have learned throughout the course of my marriage is that…


I must handle situations with discretion.


I don’t have to tell my husband everything, now do I?


Especially, if I know what type of person my husband is.


I know my man’s temperament and I know how he handles situations.


Now, if he asks, sure!


However, there are times when as a wife, I just move.


This is my way of covering him.


This is my way of gracing him when things don’t go the way they should go.


Because, Abigail had discretion, this meant that she also knew timing.


Many times, we can avoid arguments and disagreements if we are right with our timing.


We have to know when to bring up situations and Abigail knew how to do that.


On top of covering her husband by not telling him what was going on, she also took the blame!


She told David that it was all of her fault.


Abigail had every right to go to Nabal and tell him to fix it.


However, she did something so different and unique.


Sometimes in marriage we have to take the fault even though it wasn’t us. Isn’t that the same thing that Christ did for is?


Jesus didn’t commit any sin.


He did nothing wrong, but he took the blame for us.


The things that your husband is doing, the times that he goes against you, the times that he sins against you, causes you pain in some kind of way whether directly or indirectly.


Can you take the blame for what he did?


You don’t have to answer now, sis lol


Because of Abigail’s quick action and discretion; Nabal’s life was saved.


When Abigail returned home, she still had timing.


She didn’t rush to tell Nabal that she had just saved his butt.


She didn’t rub it in his face.


She continued to cover him until the time was right.


She finally told him what she did for him and he ended up having a stroke.


Wow!


This was God’s interference into her marriage.


She didn’t have to leave Nabal even though he was a terrible husband.


She didn’t have to go out and cheat on him even though she felt like she married the wrong person.


She stuck it out with him and handed out grace.


And what ended up happening?


Abigail ended up marrying David.


Her Nabal turned into her King David.


All Abigail had to do was continue to be the wife that God called her to be and God turned her situation around.


Turn my Nabal into a King David.


This is a affirmation that I began to say on a daily basis.


And you know what happened?


I began to see a change in my husband.


Here is a prayer for those that have a Nabal right now and they need a King David.


Father God, I thank you for my husband. I thank you that he will be who you have called him to be. I don’t necessarily like what I see right now. I don’t like the feelings that I have right now. But what I do know is that you transform him into something great. I call my King David forth. I call the king in my husband to manifest now. I believe that he will do right by me. I believe that he will be intentional in our marriage and he will make conscious decisions to do right by me. He will be mindful on how his decisions affect his family and me. He will be whom you’ve you have called him to be. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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